The big family secret...one woman's successful journey to overcome destructive family programming...
Our Initial Meeting…
Was there one defining moment that made you finally see the truth? What did you do when you realized your family was not what you thought?
These were some of the questions I asked one of my favorite clients as she told me her story. I can still picture her face as the tears welled up in her eyes.
The Narcissistic Mother…
She always had a soft spot for the family. In hindsight, she could now see that her mother was a narcissist who was very divisive.
Her mother was very successful at keeping the world revolving around herself by subtly pitting her children against each other. She knew all the right buttons to push.
Things That Didn’t Add Up…
As everyone became adults, things were still out of balance.
She never forgot their special occasions, but most of them couldn’t pick up the phone for five minutes a year to see how she was doing or wish her a happy birthday. Then there were the invitations to gatherings that usually came only when a present would be expected.
As Things Start to Be Revealed…
She kept believing these lies until one day, her dad became terminally ill. When she lost her dad, she knew her life was forever changed. She thought it was only because it was such a big loss to her. She loved him dearly, cared for him when he was sick and he passed away in her arms.
She had no idea all the "little things” that would keep unraveling.
The Defining Moment…
It took many years and many disappointments to finally see the truth.
She was downsized from her job. It was a stressful time. She looked to see who was there to help her, what a big surprise when she realized she was in this alone.
We worked together to assess her situation and create a step by step solid, realistic plan to move forward. We worked together to help keep her on track and accountable to achieve her goals. She was truly a rock star! Not only did she achieve her goals and survive, but eventually thrive.
Out of such great loss came great realizations. This was the beginning of her new life.
The blinders were finally off.
She now knew her true value and her ability to accomplish anything she put her mind to.
She no longer makes excuses for others.
Once you see the truth in one thing, you can't help but see the truth in everything.
Kathleen Tucka is an accomplished award winning Life, Career, Business Coach and Personal Advocate.