After coaching many clients over the years, I've discovered that these two particular issues are what frustrate people most of all.
CONFIDENCE AND CLARITY
How can you trust yourself if you are feeling fearful and doubtful about your abilities and your calling?
TAKE THE NEXT STEP!
Your life will shrink or grow in proportion to your courage and confidence. Missed opportunities, staying in the (dis)comfort zone and making excuses is not a life well lived and will only bring regrets in the end.
Why not make the decision today to have and do more of what you love to do?
If you're still struggling, schedule your 30-minute Trial Coaching Session TODAY!
Do you like the direction that your life is going in or is it time for a change?
If you study teenagers, you would discover a pretty adaptable species that has been designed to annoy and bother us since their creation.
Operating in that no-man’s land between childhood and adulthood they’ve yet to set their anchor in life and they float blissfully on the sea of irresponsibility.
Maybe it’s time to stop getting splinters on your butt from sitting on the fence.
No more waiting, no more “maybes”, no more “yes, no” hesitations, nothing but beautiful, clear-minded, rocket-fuel determination and glee.
No more procrastinating, no more negatively comparing yourself to others and no more waiting for it to be "perfect."
How To Grab Your Destiny
If you are still struggling, schedule your Sunny Life Coach 30-minute Trial Coaching Session TODAY!
Read Time 3mins
Your life has been a roller coaster of experiences from winning on a scratch off ticket to enjoying a fun family dinner to the excitement of starting a new job to climbing out of the depths of despair from mourning, grief and illness and everything in between.
When the realization comes that today may bring some dread at the things that you need to face, it sometimes seems an impossibility. Then after some deep reflection, you are ready to cope. The dread can sometimes weigh heavy on your mind and body making it hard to get moving and face the day ahead
On a day-to-day basis, before you get out of bed -
Think of at least three things ahead that you want to happen or can create and look forward to:
...Maybe a latte in your favorite park, listening to an inspiring podcast, accomplishing a task that you have been putting off or a fabulous evening meal with great friends.
Here are a few other methods to turn your gloom into happiness:
You don't always have to take action.
Let things unfold.
If it's not your "normal" dread or gloom of "I'm having a bad day" or "Life sucks at this moment" and you think you need the help of a mental health professional, seek it immediately.
You have everything within you to have the love, success and health you desire.
Remember the tide will roll in, hit the rocks and roll out again. All you must do is just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.
Want to be happier? ...then eat your greens.
Research involving fruit and veggies revealed that people who ate the most fruit and veggies were less likely to exhibit nervousness, anxiety, depression and other mental problems.
They were also more likely to be happy and satisfied with their lives.
If you are still struggling, schedule your Sunny Life Coach 30-minute Trial Coaching Session TODAY!
Is it time to start learning to live minimally?
While we look to liberate and streamline our lives, we often end up getting in our own way.
We all want to upgrade our lives continuously with the latest and greatest gadgets, but where do we put them?
Do you have a huge home with a large basement and garage to store all your treasured "finds?"
For most of us our homes are full of half-finished projects and good intentions, such as that rarely-used treadmill that you now use as a extended closet and the latest and greatest self-help books that sit half-read.
Does this look like your home?
And then there are the countless things infused with memories and guilt, that we hang on to for emotional reasons.
We can inherit clutter, such as an assortment of “treasured family objects” that are passed on through the generations, turning us into some kind of emotional warehouse where we become the guardians of family memories, which end up owning us.
If you looked in most people’s homes, they would reveal mountains of chain store merchandise that even charity shops are reluctant to take, as anyone who has ever had to clean out the home of an elderly relative will agree.
Having too much stuff to deal with can make it difficult to focus on anything. It can make you feel tired when you walk into a room and cause anxiety when we lose or can’t locate things easily.
It induces feelings of guilt about overspending on things we don’t need or use, and a general feeling of being overwhelmed.
These are just a few examples of how clutter can affect our lives and our health.
Sometimes we feel insecure and think we need “treats” is one explanation, another is the sense that we can’t throw something away in case it might be needed– even if it has sat there, unused forever and forever.
We should all learn to travel a little lighter, to treasure our relationships and our life, and not things, unless that "thing" sparks joy in your heart.
If you are still struggling, schedule your 30-minutes Trial Sunny Life Coaching session and see how you could live lighter.
Yes, procrastination and avoidance. It can’t just be me who has the same tasks not done and people not responded to which appear on the list every day? Sometimes for weeks. Then these people not answered and the tasks left undone develop their own sort of dread power that can make cleaning the lint out of your dryer or scrubbing your trash can look like a desirable distraction.
I’m more interested in a “To Be” List.
Getting clear on why you are doing what you are doing and where do you want it to take you is a far more meaningful exercise.
What if the present was perfect and doing less gave you more?
What if we didn’t fill the void with actions and developed a soulful relaxed approach to life?
One friend who was working a full time job with overtime, developing her own business, renovating her home, managing the contractors, and trying to keep her life on track said, “I even rush when I speak like racing to the full stop!”. She was in such a chronic state of exhaustion both mentally and physically, she couldn't think straight and kept wonder why getting things done seemed much more difficult than it should have been.
Stop the To-Do List
...or just make it the top 3 priorities you do first thing in the morning that you know will help you make progress.
Here are some “Coaching Tips” to help you focus on how “To-Be” and be happy:
1)Let go of past slights. People do hurt us and it’s our responsibility to process it and let it go or it can become a vengeful item on your “to-do” list!
2)Build in a reward into every 90 minutes and notice how you feel and the joy it brings - A good cup of coffee or your favorite tea, eating what you believe to be healthy or not, feeling the wind on your face, noticing the change of season. It’s all about mindful noticing.
3)If you are feeling overwhelmed learn to say “NO”. No justification nor explanation is needed. No is a complete sentence.
4) Drop perfectionism. You are MORE than good enough.
5) Learn the art of day dreaming. Let your subconscious show you the way.
If you are still struggling, schedule your 30-minute Trial Sunny Life Coaching session and see how you could seriously upgrade your life!
Patience vs. Procrastination...
Which is it for you?
Sadly, there is no magic wand…
but there is magic...
Wasting years of my life in a “holding pattern” believing it would somehow work itself out if I could just work harder. I waited for my world to change, but it wasn’t about working harder, it was about working smarter with a focus.
I can't tell you how many times I questioned why things weren’t just magically happening and kept pushing myself harder thinking I needed to do more.
That was until I decided to change my approach.
When I quit waiting for life to deliver and focused on my plan, the wonderful things I dreamed of eventually came to me.
...and the definition of luck?
It's when preparedness meets opportunity.
Here are some "coaching" questions to get you started:
Something else to think about…
Enjoy and be grateful for each day and never ever give up!
If you are still struggling,
Schedule your 30-minute Trial Sunny Life Coaching session.
Why You Should You Be Your Own Best Friend...
Everyone does something that makes them feel good about themselves.
We have been programmed to believe that there is something immodest as well as a bit desperate, about "being your own best friend" for it seems to suggest not so much that you really love yourself but that no one else does.
It only gets worse from there. We are not only so bad at being good to ourselves, we can also be overcritical of ourselves. When we truly love someone in our lives, we will recognize and reward them for their achievements. When it comes to us, we not only don’t reward ourselves, we can punish ourselves or self-sabotage our future success.
I have news for you. There is a middle ground between self-loving and self-loathing and it is not indifference. It is about doing things that feel pretty good in the short term and very good long term.
Feeling good about yourself is not one size fits all. There are things everyone can do, even if you're not your own best friend, at least you can feel pretty good about yourself and some of the things that you have accomplished.
Here is the “How To” of being your own “Best Friend”:
Learning to be your own “best friend” and advocate only sets you up for success.
It is the best foundation for launching all your dreams.
Here are some “coaching” questions to get you started:
If you are still struggling?
Schedule your 30-minute Trial Sunny Life Coaching session.
Are you a perfectionist?
Does that cause you to delay any decisions because you want everything just perfect?
At some point everyone will need to make at least one decision and then the next decision based on the outcome of the first decision. But if you are stuck you don’t make any decisions, this is where the challenge lies.
But when you are crippled by procrastination and indecision you may find that life passes you by as you ponder away the years.
You are not alone. I have coached many people of all ages, who are beginning to find some satisfaction in claiming their life and making their own decisions and choices.
If you are still struggling, schedule your 30 minute Trial Sunny Life Coaching session to understand how Sunny Life Coaching can help guide you in making decisions that are the best for you.
"Practice random acts of kindness” is the mantra of current times. Buy a coffee or pay a road toll for the person behind you in the line and “pay forward the kindness” you received from someone else sort of thing.
Has it come to you yet? Like all fads or trends, they can quickly fade away and become meaningless.
Being kind is something that never goes out of date but the whole idea of compassion and gentleness seems obsolete when it comes to applying it to ourselves.
Sometimes our inner dialogue is so nagging and critical it becomes a type of mental torture that we easily become convinced of.
Some of the inner dialogue we hear are: “You’re not good enough," “You’re not good at anything”, "Why couldn’t I handle that situation better?" "Why do I let them get to me?" "I'm not smart enough." "I don’t deserve good things"…and the list goes on. I’m sure you can add your own.
We are always tougher on ourselves, but if we had seen someone else treated like this we would be calling the police or social service to intervene.
We need to STOP! The random acts of kindness need to START with OURSELVES FIRST!
Let’s be clear on what our self- kindness really means to us.
It’s not being narcissistic and self centered. It is not going on an unlimited shopping spree or eating, drinking and other out of control behavior because “I deserve it.” That type of behavior is destructive and is just a short-term fix for bigger emotional needs
Being kind is giving yourself a break to take the time to understand what YOU need.
It is taking a moment to ask yourself “how do I feel about this?” and giving consideration to the things that are causing exhaustion, anxiety or emotional pain.
Being kind to yourself is saying “no” even if it means you putting your needs above someone else's expectations. It’s being gentle as you try new things – a diet, an exercise program, a new hobby or managing your health issues and giving yourself time to adjust, ease into it and eventually succeed at it. It’s being patient with yourself.
It’s remembering you are not just the culmination of your disappointments, regrets, sadness and let downs but also the total of your successes, brilliance and overall triumphs”.
Getting to know yourself means you can gently make the right decisions to benefit and enhance the quality of your life and the people you love around you as well.
It means making choices to support and nurture yourself to triumph over resentment, exhaustion and bad choices.
Checking in with where you are feeling pain in the body and deciding not to put up with or live with it also helps.
Do some people make you tense, uneasy, on edge or stressed out just at hearing their name?
Think about those who make you feel diminished and invisible or who don’t show interest in you or listen when you speak, then limit time with them or move away entirely from their company.
Take a look at the people who claim that they are here for you and profess that they will do anything for you until they actually have to step up and do something to help you.
Do you really need and want these people in your life?
For your own sake, forgive those who have hurt you. Don’t be carrying around the weight of the pain that they caused you.
Let it go, put it down and grant yourself freedom.
Being kind means not being taken for granted. It means listening to your needs and fulfilling them in a nourishing healthy way.
It’s having a community of people who “get” you! It is feeling good about yourself and your relationships.
It is not feeling used and not comparing yourself unfavorably to others.
I urge you to stop and make a concerted effort to become more aware of your needs.
As you become more aware, nurture yourself with kindness first. Find joy and gratitude in the day to day. Forgive yourself your own perceived weaknesses and disappointments. Make friends with YOU and learn to like what you see.
In doing so you not only make your life better, but you also improve the world around you too. You will make way for a future of surprises, happiness, blessings and everyday miracles.
Are you ready to start being kind to yourself?
Why not schedule a 30-minute Sunny Life Coach Trial Coaching Session to help get you started?
Perhaps you've already got there and are living the dream, having the life and being the “YOU” you always wanted to be. We wish you all the best.
Is achievement and happiness still not enough for you? What is your next mountain to climb?
Not there yet?
What do you mean you had big plans but "Life" got in the way? What's that you say? You're not sure what you want. This only means you will definitely not know when you have gotten there.
If you have made some progress but are permanently stuck and not sure if you are living your dream or how you even got there- it's OK, you've come to the right place.
As children we have mighty big dreams for ourselves.
We confidently say - "Oh I'm going to be an astronaut, president or invent something grand ..." and shrug as though it were a given.
Job done. So be it.
Then life delivers knock-downs, disappointments, rejections, heart ache and woe.
Our little umbrellas of hope get battered and torn as the storms of life take their toll and it seems easier to retreat than forge on.
We've all been there. Yes, all of us; even the really successful, happy and contented folk.
And here's the bottom line -
It's how you choose to deal with all of those set-backs and hardships that is the key to becoming all you ever wanted to be.
Our perception of the world can create "can-do" or "can't ever do" attitudes. It can make us feel like victors as well as victims, millionaires or paupers. Our beliefs and perceptions can trip us up, keep us down, enable us to climb the highest mountain or stay stuck in the corner sulking and sucking our thumbs.
One of the first casualties of negative perceptions is a serious downturn in confidence. Fear grabs us and keeps us stuck in excuses, pain and indecision. We start to question ourselves as our internal critic acts like a weight on our dreams and actions.
In coaching clients who say their lack of confidence is holding them back it's important from the start to establish what being confident means.
It doesn't mean being a bragging, loud bore that people would clear a bar in 30 seconds. Why not aim for quietly assertive?
Here are a few coaching questions to help you take a step nearer who you want to be:
It's the small twists and tweaks in our thinking that can have the most momentous and long lasting results.
What could you do today to take one step closer to being who you always wished you could be?
If you are still struggling and would like to seriously improve your confidence,
Schedule a 30-minute Trial Sunny Life Coaching Session.
Kathleen Tucka is an accomplished award winning Life, Career, Business Coach and Personal Advocate.