Why Shouldn’t You Be Your Own Best Friend?
Are you like Groucho Marx and would never join a club that would have you as a member?
Do you find the idea of self-love strange or a little distasteful?
Everyone does something that makes them feel good about themselves.
We have been programmed to believe that there is something immodest as well as a bit desperate, about "being your own best friend" for it seems to suggest not so much that you really love yourself but that no one else does.
It only gets worse from there. We are not only so bad at being good to ourselves, we can also be overcritical of ourselves. When we truly love someone in our lives, we will recognize and reward them for their achievements. When it comes to us, we not only don’t reward ourselves, we can punish ourselves or self-sabotage our future success.
Another piece of cake? A new pair of shoes you can manage if you put it on a 12-month payment plan? Another supersize cocktail, it's been one of those days? …or just little trinkets that you believe don’t really count. They lift your spirits for the moment but loses its uplifting effect an hour later.
You don't have to be overweight, broke or an alcoholic to realize these little tokens of self-love wear off quickly and the short-term pleasure they bring becomes a form of self-sabotage.
At the other end of the self-loathing spectrum, there are those who equate "doing it for me" with extreme dietary deprivation or exercise routines that would make a graduate of the Marine Corp “Boot Camp” cringe, but you justify it by telling yourself it might make you feel "good" later. Life is too short to torture yourself.
I have news for you. There is a middle ground between self-loving and self-loathing and it is not indifference. It is about doing things that feel pretty good in the short term and very good long term.
Feeling good about yourself is not one size fits all. There are things everyone can do, even if you're not your own best friend, at least you can feel pretty good about yourself and some of the things that you have accomplished.
Here is the “How to” of being your own “Best Friend”:
Here are some “coaching” questions to get you started:
Kathleen Tucka is based in the Saucon Valley/Lehigh Valley, PA area providing Career, Life and Business Services. Sunny Life Coach provides Career, Life and Business solutions helping everyday people achieve extraordinary results.
Email Kathleen @ firstname.lastname@example.org