Who Is your best friend?...and why it should be you!

Why You Should You Be Your Own Best Friend...

Are you like Groucho Marx and would never join a club that would have you as a member?
Do you find the idea of self-love strange or a little distasteful?

Everyone does something that makes them feel good about themselves.
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We have been programmed to believe that there is something immodest as well as a bit desperate, about "being your own best friend" for it seems to suggest not so much that you really love yourself but that no one else does.

It only gets worse from there. We are not only so bad at being good to ourselves, we can also be overcritical of ourselves. When we truly love someone in our lives, we will recognize and reward them for their achievements. When it comes to us, we not only don’t reward ourselves, we can punish ourselves or self-sabotage our future success.

Another piece of cake? A new pair of shoes you can manage if you put it on a 12-month payment plan? Another supersize cocktail, it's been one of those days? …or just little trinkets that you believe don’t really count. 

They lift your spirits for the moment but loses its uplifting effect an hour later.

You don't have to be overweight, broke or an alcoholic to realize these little tokens of self-love wear off quickly and the short-term pleasure they bring becomes a form of self-sabotage.

At the other end of the self-loathing spectrum, there are those who equate "doing it for me" with extreme dietary deprivation or exercise routines that would make a graduate of the Marine Corp “Boot Camp” cringe, but you justify it by telling yourself it might make you feel "good" later. 

Life is too short to torture yourself.

I have news for you. There is a middle ground between self-loving and self-loathing and it is not indifference. It is about doing things that feel pretty good in the short term and very good long term.
 
Feeling good about yourself is not one size fits all.  There are things everyone can do, even if you're not your own best friend, at least you can feel pretty good about yourself and some of the things that you have accomplished.

Here is the “How To” of being your own “Best Friend”:

• Treat yourself with the kindness that you’ve shown a dear friend.
• Forgive yourself your regrets, failures, weaknesses and fears.
• Show yourself the compassion you show to other people you love.
• Loving yourself means being "responsibly selfish" - making sure your needs are met first so you can be a better partner, parent, friend, son or daughter for others.  It can be likened to the “Airline Safety” instructions “Put your oxygen mask on first before helping others.”  This insures that you can actually be of value to help others.
• Check in with yourself when people make requests of your time and energy - do you really want to do it or are you just pleasing others to seek acceptance?
• Rest more. Naps are good for your mind, body and your good health.
• Schedule “Non-Negotiable Me Time” for relaxing, putting your feet up, reading a book, taking a walk, meditating, staring at the wall or anything else that gives you pleasure. (even if it is only fifteen minutes a day to start or an afternoon a week) This is a non-cancellable appointment with penalties for not keeping it. You do pay a price in the long run for not taking time for yourself.
  
• Find what you love, your passion,  and do it regularly.
  

Learning to be your own “best friend” and advocate only sets you up for success. 
It is the best foundation for launching all your dreams. 

Happy people make better choices. 

• Looking to start a business?
• Looking for a career?
• Looking to change careers?
• Looking for love? 

Whatever your dreams, they all begin with you being your own best friend and advocate.

 Here are some “coaching” questions to get you started:

• What would have to change in your life for you to become your own “best friend?”
• What obstacle(s) would you have to remove to make this happen?
• How would your life look to you if you were your own “best friend?”
• Why is it important to you to do this now?
• What actions are you ready to take?

 

If you are still struggling?
Schedule your 30-minute Trial Sunny Life Coaching session.